The Pigeon That Came Home To Roost

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<This is a follow-up companion to the item titled A Bird In Hand>

For those of you keeping score, you may now mark me down for a hit.  That’s right, the offer has come in.  The Eagle has landed.  X marks the spot where I will begin working in a couple of weeks.

And I am ready, boy let me tell you.  Although I have enjoyed the opportunity given me to find myself, I have had more than enough of being within these walls every day.  Sure, my dog will probably spiral down into doggie depression, not having me around ALL THE TIME, but such is the way of life, my friend.

After some true R&R I know my brain will be anxious to kick back into gear, and despite the pretty long commute I will face, I will be able to do so with pride knowing that I will be making a difference in the world – or at least, in the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania.

Now that there is a date in sight, there is so much I have to do.  Everything from car repair to clothing shopping to home maintenance, all in preparation for the resumption of a life taken for granted, the chance to hold down a meaningful job and be a productive member of society.

I must admit that I was holding out hope for that other opportunity – the proverbial two birds in the bush – but it looks like that may not come to fruition.  As with other opportunities, for whatever reason, I have not heard back from them, despite having corresponded a couple of times.  I am very tempted to call them, just to be able to close the book and go into the real opportunity with a clear focus, but I am also not really in the mood to hear one final rejection right now.

It is a shame, because in a couple of ways I do feel that I will be moving a little backwards in my career.  Don’t get me wrong – this is a great opportunity to be in a completely different environment, making a new start with real career potential.  The group really does make a difference, doing real good in a world of greed and opportunism.  I will be proud when the time is right to announce my new position and will absolutely give it all of the attention and dedication that it deserves.

But much like the groom marrying “the nice girl”, with whom he would share a stable, content lifetime, I worry about “the one that got away” – that instant attraction I thought was mutual.  I want to call her, to make sure that she is not interested, but I feel an equally strong urge to preserve my own dignity. 

See?  Even at this moment, when I should take the opportunity to revel in my last moments of freedom, I am worrying about how to play a game that is all but over.  Success is already all but guaranteed, and it is now just a matter of scope, but still I find myself doubting the things I said in the interviews, wondering if my follow-up notes were insufficient, or if they came off as desperate or my work back-up was immature.

I have not given official word yet – I still need to learn the extent (of time and other finite resources) it will take to get our second car fixed up, and get that taken care of before I can start any position.  But I should know enough by tomorrow to give the official okay and set the start date.  By tomorrow I will again be under the management of external people, individuals currently strange to me who will become my new teammates, my new customers, my new bosses.

This particular bird has been flying on his own for some time now, and it is time to again join up with a flock.

This particular pigeon is coming home to roost.


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